You make all things New

4 years tomorrow...4 years...wow. It seems so unreal that it has been 4 years. Time doesn't slow down, does it? Alison was still pregnant with Adam, now has a new little girl. Allison is now pregnant with her 3rd little one, Hank was just a few months old. Look what can happen it 4 years. I've moved, changed jobs twice, adopted a zoo. I then think look at what can happen in just one year. My journey the past year has been a challenging but such a spiritual growing year to say the least and also a healing year. Last December was extremely difficult for me...really one of my lowest times in the past 4 years. I think some of it was the numbness had worn off and I had been standing still, just standing in the pain and hurt. I couldn't let go. I was not in a good place at all. I was dealing with alot of unresolved issues I had in many aspects of my life. (As I am writing this, I'm thinking, wow, you are being really transparent on some of this...some fear just jumped into my heart. If you are reading this, I must have been brave enough to select publish) Anyway, I had put myself in the role of encourager, I had to be the strong one (or thought I was, or was trying to be in that role)...I was trying to keep it all together for everyone else. I wasn't paying attention to me...see I was the one still frozen in my pain and hurt.

December 15, 2007, I was at my appt with my new therapist I had been seeing since October. He was a Christian counselor (I didn't know this when I signed up with him, I went through the EAP program at work, funny how God puts the right people in our lives and the right time)...anyway...I was at a new low and cried the whole session...seriously...nose running sobbing...Everything seemed to spinning out of control. I was out of control. I don't even remember what we talked about or if I could talk. As our session was ending, he asked if he could pray with me. He prayed such a strong prayer, he prayed for peace for me. Now he is a Christian counselor, but he had never prayed with me and we only discuss religion if I bring it up. As he prayed, my heart began to calm, I could breathe, I was filled with peace at that moment. I felt the Holy Spirit hug me and hold me. I felt His true Peace. That moment as I reflect on the past year has been a defining moment in my journey. I had lost control of it all, I could do no more, all I could do was cry out to God. And it was God, remember me? Summer? I need You!

Ok...so back up a little bit... the past couple of months my therapist and I had been working on some other issues (believe me, I have plenty LOL) and one was going to church. Since my parents divorce, I have not been active in church or actively even going to church...that's been over 15 years. I could justify it too...and I was good at it. I was the one the pastor preaches too loud, the deacon didn't greet me, the preacher's kids were snotty (lol). Seriously, I have found many of reasons why I didn't need to go to church. I was still a Christian, I still prayed, I even tivoed Joel Osteen every week and don't forget I was a preacher's kid. I put alot of time in during the first 13 years of my life. It should cover me for awhile, right? Why was he pushing me back to Church? The church had hurt me, the church judged me, the church walked away when my Dad walked away. That weekend, Mom and I went to church and it was different. I didn't cry during the service. I didn't feel that hurt. We went back the next week and it was good again. God was working on me. God was saying, Summer come home. It's good to see you in my house. He still loved me.

The first series our pastor preached on in 2008 was Downpour - Are you looking for God to do something new in your life in 2008? Has your Christian experience lost some its vitality? Experience a new and fresh downpour of God's presence. Ok, wow, just what I needed. God, Did you set this up? I begin reading His Word, words were popping of the pages. Things I had never read before were there written in bold. My mom also gave me a new bible...I had still been using the same one I was given for my 13th birthday. It still had highlighted sections from my Dad's sermons. I had to put that in the past. God was giving me a new refreshed start. I had to let go, I had to let the hurt go. I had to start moving again. I had a sense of hope for the first time in who knows.

I can truly say I have found a church home now. The church has brought me back to old friends. Who was in Biblical Foundations class with us --Matt and Allison. :) Yeah, God just started lining things up for me...now was God always there...Absolutely...I just put my faith in trust back in him. My yoke was heavy and I was trying to carry it all by myself. It all became a bit easier when you realize God's in control....no matter how bad I want to be in control...He's got it taken care of. We went on a lady's retreat, volunteered at the Women's conference as greeters. And then when I knew I had turned a corner, that something was different with me...I was inviting people to church. Ok -- think about this --- I had been avoiding the church, running from the church, surely not trying to invite anyone to church --- but here I was, I needed to tell people what I found. Not that I found a church, I had found my Father. I was home again and it felt good.

Like I started this blog, It has been a journey --one that I am still on --- learning and growing in His word. Trusting Him. Surrendering it all to him. Forgiving. Loving. That's why this year, I have a new Peace about Marc's anniversary. Does my heart still hurt, it does. I cried unexpectedly earlier this evening. Kinda caught me off guard. I miss him. I miss my grandma. That won't change, but I can remember them, remember the laughter, remember the silliness, remember the music. I get to always remember them and you know what else...I will get to spend eternity with them. My world had fallen out from me and now I am still standing - in Him.

My footprints from last Thursday - Found in Him - Still Standing

My song for tonight - heard it on the way home from work - got a couple of new favs--will post them later

Shadowfeet

Walking, stumbling on these shadowfeet
toward home, a land that i've never seen
I am changing, less and less asleep
made of different stuff than when i began
and i have sensed it all along
fast approaching is the day

[CHORUS]
when the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
when the sky rolls up and mountains fall on their knees
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

Theres distraction buzzing in my head
saying in the shadows it's easier to stay
but I've heard rumours of true reality
whispers of a well-lit way

[CHORUS]

You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things new
You make all things
You make all things

[CHORUS 2]
When the world has fallen out from under me
I'll be found in you, still standing
Every fear and accusation under my feet
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you
when time and space are through
I'll be found in you

My Scripture for the year:

Jeremiah 29:11 (New Living Translation)
11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.

Much Love,

Summer

In Everything

As I'm preparing for Thanksgiving and the beginning of the holiday season, I was looking for some scriptures to read and reflect and came across this one. In Everything...interesting the choice of words ... it's not FOR everything give thanks...it's IN everything. Paul is writing that through everything we must give thanks, we must be joyful and pray without ceasing. So I thank God now for all he is doing in my life, I am thankful for where I am right now and I know he's still working on me.

Wishing everyone a joyful and thankful Thanksgiving!

With Love,

Summer

Holiday Season begins

It's that time of year...one I used to look so forward to spending time with family and friends. Part of me still looks forward to it but then there is that tug at my heart. It's not the same. Marc won't be here again. It's been 4 years since I saw his smiling face. ...funny...I don't know which blog I should be writing this one under...I want this to be a joyful season. A season of Remembrance, A season of Life. My prayer for this holiday season is just Peace. Peace in my heart, Peace in my family, Peace for all those that are suffering. Pastor Steve talked today in his service about Living to Give. I want that to be my new mission in life. God is my number 1, he is my boss, he is my everything. As soon as we put anything before him, we are cursed. He is the One and Only and we can find comfort and peace in him. So, I'm starting now, looking for opportunities, God's opened doors, for me to give to others. Not just at the holidays and I'm not talking about simple gifts. Giving of yourself for others.

In Prayer

With Love,

Summer

Light and Giggly

ok, so I got to go see my teenage pop idols New Kids on the Block last night and had an absolute blast. I went with my friend Ashley and 2 of her friends - also lifelong blockheads. It was a time to let loose and laugh, smile, and act like giddy 13 year olds...along with thousands of other screaming thirty somethings. The arena got smart and converted most all of the men's restrooms to women's for the night. Joey Joe totally made eye contact with Ashley and I...Seriously he sang right to us and they like said that like they were our husbands so I am like totally unavailable now. :) If felt so good just to let loose and have fun and they actually put on a great concert. I was actually a bit surprised of how good they were and the show they put on was awesome. I am also totally loving their new CD now. Don't hate on NKOTB -check out some of the lyrics from the new cd. These will stand the test of time!


DIRTY DANCING
Ooh, she's so crazy
She's like baby, I'm like Swayze
I said, ooh, and I'm burnin' up
So let's turn it up
I said "turn it up, now"

CLICK CLICK CLICK

And I'm like stop (stop)
Let me take a mental shot of this moment (moment)Yeah
Oooh baby drop(drop) everything ya doing right now and just hold it
(Hold it)

Click Click Click

Pose for Me, Pose for Me, come on and Pose for me, Pose for me
My camera loves you

2 IN THE MORNING
Now it's 9 o'clock and I thought
We could talk but you ain't givin' in
Through this hoverin' girl, it's almost 10
I wanna know if you're mad at me, before Grey's Anatomy
'Cause we could drag this out all night

This is just a classic oldie:

FUNKY FUNKY CHRISTMAS
Have a funky funky Christmas, have a funky funky Christmas.
New Kids On The Block, let's rock, it's Christmas time.
We're gonna celebrate it with a rhyme.
Danny D, are you ready? - Ready as I'll ever be
Steady - you know, Joey Joe is ready
Jordan and Jon, yeah, come on, we got a funky, funky Christmas going on.

Forever a BLOCKHEAD -

With Love,

Summer

Immersion - A night of praise and worship

Message notes from Immersion Oct 2 -- http://www.churchoftheking.com/


We must draw into God's prescense. We are in dark times right now, but we must let God's light shine through us. We have to be filled with the Glory of God. It will only get darker, but God's people will be brighter, stronger, living by his scripture. It is easy in the circumstances that we are living in....an unsettling election, financial crisis, war, catastrophic storms... we must draw closer to God.

Psalm 91:2, James 4:8

Jude 1:20 (New Living Translation)
20 But you, dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit

Isaiah 60
1 “Arise, Jerusalem! Let your light shine for all to see. For the glory of the Lord rises to shine on you. 2 Darkness as black as night covers all the nations of the earth, but the glory of the Lord rises and appears over you. 3 All nations will come to your light; mighty kings will come to see your radiance.

19 “No longer will you need the sun to shine by day, nor the moon to give its light by night, for the Lord your God will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. 20 Your sun will never set; your moon will not go down. For the Lord will be your everlasting light. Your days of mourning will come to an end. 21 All your people will be righteous. They will possess their land forever, for I will plant them there with my own hands in order to bring myself glory.

Light

The theme light is one of the most common themes through out the bible, starting in Genesis 1:3 - Let there be light. It is interesting for me as I continue on this journey and delve deeper into my relationship how the Holy Spirit is moving things in my life, opening my eyes to see things I have never seen before, opening my heart to feel things I have never felt. This was the scripture from last week's service...

Ephesians 5:8 14
8For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light 9(for the fruit of the light consists in all goodness, righteousness and truth) 10and find out what pleases the Lord. 11Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them. 12For it is shameful even to mention what the disobedient do in secret. 13But everything exposed by the light becomes visible, 14for it is light that makes everything visible. This is why it is said: "Wake up, O sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you."

New Living Translation - my Bible

8 For once you were full of darkness, but now you have light from the Lord. So live as people of light! 9 For this light within you produces only what is good and right and true.


Light is mentioned 237 times in the Bible...NKJV

How does a house get so dirty?

Well, I've weathered Gustav. I am sick of hurricanes --I hope he is the last one we see for sometime. We were without power and now we don't have direct tv ---so I hope Hannah and Ike are heading somewhere else. I don't know and at this point don't want to know...haven't had an update in days. So I've had a lot of time to think and analyze things the past couple of days. Even through the wind and rain, I have had some very peaceful times. Alot of quiet time just listening to the generators hum. But I was struck with such a thought and wanted to put it down...ok that sounds like I don't have many thoughts and this was a revelation....but anyway...it just really made me think today. When the power came back on today - our house was so dirty. I cleaned alot before the storm, just to burn off some anxiety, because I had made the decision to stay and ride out the storm. We'd been through Cat.2 and 3's before...no big deal. Ok, so I washed every towel in the house, every blanket, cleaned the oven, cleaned the stove. But when the power came on today - our house looked like a hurricane had hit it. Spills on the cabinet, blankets and pillows on the couches in the living room-this was our command center- dog bones everywhere, dog accidents everywhere. It can be tough pouring a drink by flashlight, I guess you don't see the little spills here and there. But when the power comes on they are everywhere. You can see all the spills -all the accidents. I compared it to our life with Christ. Without him, the Light, we are unclean and don't even realize all the sin in our life. He brightens our life and he cleans us --he sees the spills and wipes them clean. He doesn't want us to live in darkness. Spilling things, living life as a hurricane. Yes hurricanes and storms may come - but he is the Light, He is the calm in the storm. He wipes us clean. This new blog is very different for me. I'm used to just blogging when I miss Marc, but am trying to do it more often.

John 8:12 Then spake Jesus again unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life.

I am thankful that I have power on today because the past few days have been rough. I am thankful that I have Christ as the Light in my life because the past few years have been rough.

Praying for all those that need Light in their life today.

With Love,

Summer

random and random

I don't think I was really prepared for how big a new job can shake things up. It's been a shakin' and crazy month or so. But it's getting better. You know the wide-open sales road is very different from my past position. It has been very freeing and allowed me to breath for the first time in a while. I truly do believe everything happens for a reason and I am where God wants me to be. North Oaks was where I was supposed to be for the past 3.5 years. I was able to heal during my time there and also still grow professionally. I enjoyed management very much - it is very different from sales - but I managed a great group of professionals and they each taught me so much. I think that is where so many managers get it wrong -- they think they have the answers for everything and miss out on alot. Good managers should surround themselves with talented individuals - they should all bring something to the table. If they don't --- they shouldn't be there. You have to trust your team and you have to earn the trust of your team. Otherwise --- it can get ugly.

Ok --- I don't know where that came from --- I am enjoying my new job. It is fun to be out in the field, meeting new people, pounding the pavement. It brings me back to some of my HealthSouth days. Good Times! I had a training session in Tampa at the end of July and it was a blast! I don't think I have ever had such a fun training session. We went through several big binders and had some long days but the people were great and we laughed a ton! My new job has also given me some freedom to get back to me and have some fun!

ok--random thoughts for tonight.


Much Love,

Summer

New New New

As a start this next chapter in my life...I would like to sincerely thank those that have held such a special place in my heart the past 3 and a half years. I would not be the person, the overcomer, I am today without your love, support, and prayers. It's funny - when I actually started this new blog - A New day - With Love, Summer - It's been almost a year to come back around. Sometimes we can't but time tables on our healing process. I've definitely had some highs and some very dark lows since last May. But you know what changed it all - Christ! Getting back to the love of a father that is never failing, never judging, always forgiving. I had turned my back on the church for sometime because I still had alot of unresolved "junk" from my parent's divorce and felt like the church let me down. THen after Marc's passing - I was mad at God too. I tried to fake it well. I still prayed...but I wasn't sure God was listening to me. I didn't understand why all this was happening. How could he allow this to happen to me? Why? Why? I read in my early blogs, in my grieving blog, where that was so often my question. That is very common and normal for a grieving person. In the past year, I feel I have moved from victim to survivor and I am working very hard on becoming an OVERCOMER!

I don't know WHY this has happen. I may never know. But I know I have surrendered my life to the Lord and it is in his Plan. I give it all to you Lord --This is my surrender.

With Love,

Summer


My Surrender - Steven Curtis Chapman

Does it all sound the same?
Are my words getting through?
I've been trying so hard
And I'm about to break
So here I am with all I have

And I'm giving it all back to You
All back to You
I surrender
Yeah, I'm giving it all back to You
All back to You
This is my surrender
Take it all

And what song can I sing
But the song that You give
I have nothing to bring
That did not come from Your hand
So here I am with all I have

And I'm giving it all back to You
All back to You
I surrender
Yeah, I'm giving it all back to You
All back to You
This is my surrender

All my plans and all my dreams
I'm giving it all to You
I lay it all down at Your feet
I'm Yours

So what song can I sing but this song?

I'm giving it all back to You
All back to You
I surrender
I'm giving it all back to You
All back to You
This is my surrender
Take it all
Take it all
Lord, take it all
Take it all

So...I'm starting a new blog!

I'm starting a new job - a new decade in my life - a fresh start heading in the right direction.

More to come - later --updating this from my iphone. Hard to type too much from it.

My Last day at North Oaks

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